I wasn’t expecting to take a Blogging Break. I thought that a slowed down schedule was sufficient to bring me to a place of being able to hear the words of my Lord. But when He gave me the words for my last post several weeks ago, and told me to “Breathe,” I heard Him say that I needed a break in order to find that place of restful breathing, where I could find His full Presence filling my lungs.
Have you heard Him call you to a deeper resting?
When I finally agreed to the break, I hoped that He would woo me with sweet nothings, and soothe my weary soul with lavish cups of fragrance and bliss.
Ah, well, our plans for ourselves usually don’t quite mesh with those of our Dear Father.
Sometimes, the true comfort of God meets us with a word that at first feels harsh and jarring. Instead of finding an overload of sweet, I found additional pain, with moments of sweet only scattered around the edges. I found a deeper surrender, and a longer trial. And when the time to rejoin the blog-sphere returned, once again I hoped that He would lift the days of my trial.
“In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, ‘If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.’” Exodus 16:2-3
I am longing for change. My whole being rumbles with hunger pangs as I feel myself starving for the nourishment I think I am missing. And, yet, I knew their stories, and I thought I learned from their mistakes. I would never test the Lord my God in the ways they did. Or would I? When I let the weakness of my days direct my longings elsewhere, when I let the pain in my body direct my gaze away from my true Helper, how am I any different than they?
The desert of pain scorched
And burned . . .
The joints and the marrow
Screamed in response.
And my heart looked away
Longingly . . .
If only You had left me in the lands
Of my youth.
But instead You’ve brought me here
Broken, torn . . .
Where weakness leaves me
And in the grumbling I hear
Shadowy lies . . .
Don’t settle here, don’t embrace
Gifts in this place.
For nothing good comes from
The enemy’s camp . . .
He’s blinding my eyes to the Truth
That’s been given.
Only as I rest myself down
Willingly . . .
Can I embrace the heat of the desert
My home for today.
The desert’s the place where I am
Stripped bare . . .
Ready finally to eat what’s been
Manna from the hand of my