You Have Need of Patience

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2018-09-10-23-09-22

 

I had started this post a week ago, the thoughts echoing through my mind, thinking I understood what the lesson was all about. . . . Patience . . . it was a “hard word” that I heard from the Lord almost a year ago. On that day at the Doctor’s office, the Rheumatologist agreed with my husband and myself that we needed to stop my current medication, that it had become ineffective, and we should try another one.  I was eager to find some relief, so I thought that better days were ahead. But as the Doctor went to check out his supplies of new samples, the hard word echoed in my head.

 

I hoped that maybe I hadn’t heard correctly, so later that night I asked the Lord if the words were really from Him.  “You have need of patience,” did not feel like a comforting word that day. But sure enough, there was the Scripture that confirmed what He had whispered in my heart:

 

For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise. Hebrews 10:36 KJV

 

What began as high hopes for medication success, dwindled down throughout the year to medication failures, time after time. So much so that the Doctor finally agreed that my body needed a rest from all of the harsh drugs before we tried the last two possibilities. The statistics can be scary if I look at the road ahead for this disease being untreated. The low dose of daily prednisone that keeps the swelling and pain at a bearable level is not a healthy long-term solution either.

 

Have you ever received a hard word from the Lord?  Has He abandoned us in the place of trial, with an “I told you so” kind of speaking?

 

When my thoughts took the bitter fork in the road, Jesus pulled me back from the edge, and listened to my aching heart that cried out in longing: “I have no patience for this any longer. How can You tell me that I have need of patience? I want this to be finished!”

 

He opened my heart and reminded me once again of my #oneword for this year: #Sufficient.  “Of course, Lord, I know I am not sufficient in this. I know I need Your sufficiency even here. But how I am to receive that?”

 

And in the middle of pondering what I thought I knew, another flare from this disease halted me in my tracks. Days of hand-locking pain, and exhaustion that numbed my thoughts to barely functioning caught me off guard.

 

But the state of my heart shook me more than the disease had. How was this bitterness lurking so close? I thought I had been pulled back from the brink months ago as I contemplated the failed medications. But what is felt at the brink follows close on the heels of the trail if it is not dealt with. And there is only one sure way to deal with bitterness. As my heart cried out for help in the flare, no words would come.

 

Have you been in the place of brokenness when even speech fails you?

 

From the depths I felt the presence of Jesus lifting my eyes to look at Him. I felt His gaze centering me, and I knew He would speak when the time was right to hear Him. I rested and waited for the higher dose of prednisone that the Doctor prescribed to begin its work. Except that it didn’t.

 

As I lay in bed, not even able to hold a book open, I listened to music and tried to still my aching joints. The words rolling in my head stilled. The verse that settled in my heart took on a meaning I had not felt before:

 

“See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.” Hebrews 12:15

 

What had seemed harsh to this church-girl’s mind suddenly took on a sweeter meaning. “Falling short of the grace of God,” had always spoken to me of judgement, a spurning of God. But no, there it was, the Grace of God, freely offered. We are unable to stop the bitterness on our own–God’s grace is what keeps us from falling off that precipice.

 

Grace that is sufficient is what He had been trying to offer me all year.  Oh yes I had need of patience! I knew it all too well.  He had been waiting for me to receive it, standing by for the moment I would open my pain-clenched hands, and receive the gift of grace He was offering:

 

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 NASB

 

Patience is a fruit given by God, as He strengthens us with His glorious sufficiency. All that time I was striving, knowing I needed patience, He was waiting on me to receive what He wanted to gift me. His own dear Spirit had been interceding for me in the midst of my weakness.

 

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. Romans 8:26-27 NIV

 

And the bitterness? I am unable to keep that away either. His sufficient grace sweeps away the bitter roots every time I fix my gaze on Him. He fills me with Himself, He gifts me with His strength.

 

 

Are you in a place where the old answers are not meeting your needs? Has the brokenness swallowed up the words you thought you knew?  Can you join me in prayer?

 

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You that You are sufficient for everything that we need. Thank You that You know we are broken, poor, and helpless as we struggle so hard to make the way clear for ourselves. Thank You that You look on us with compassion, waiting to give us such blessed help from Your own hands. We lay down our striving, once again, and receive the fruit of Your grace. Our hearts praise You here as we run to You, embracing the gift of Your Son’s purchase for us.

In the Name of Your Son Jesus we pray,

Amen.

 

I am linking with:

#TellHIsStory

#Teaandword

#Tuneinthursday

#LMMLinkup

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Published by Bettie G

Jesus follower, Wife, Mom, and Grandma, journeying through chronic illness one day at a time

Published

38 thoughts on “You Have Need of Patience”

  1. Timely word, Bette. I’m waiting on cataract surgery. Iritis is right eye is preventing it from happening in the foreseeable future. Patience and trust required. Blessings! Lindsay

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    1. Oh Dear Lindsay, I am so sorry that they have had to postpone your cataract surgery, and for the Iritis you are having to deal with. You will be in my prayers that the Lord will indeed gift you with His fruit of patience as you trust Him. I am so grateful that our Lord knows how to bring encouragement to us at just the right time. Blessings to you!

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    1. Dear Lynn, Oh your words bring tears to my eyes tonight. Yes, He did see what this year would hold for me when He spoke that word for this year. He plans ahead for the ways to show us His sufficiency, doesn’t He? Thank you for your prayers and sweet thoughts! Blessings and hugs to you!

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  3. My heart aches for you, Bettie. I’m so glad the flare is calming down (as you wrote in my post’s comment) and you can feel God carrying you. Thank you for encouraging us to open pain-clenched hands, lay down our striving, and receive His grace. We so need that daily, don’t we? Love and hugs to you!

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    1. Dear Trudy,
      Thank you for all of your sweet prayers and encouragement. Even though my post was late for this week, God used that waiting time to bring His Grace to me in such beautiful ways. He really does know how to meet us just where we are, and I am so thankful for that. Love and hugs to you dear friend!

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  5. What depth your thoughts show, Bettie! Just when we think we understand, the lesson begins anew because we are now ready to learn a little more. His grace is sufficient. Thank you for sharing these truths.

    At such times it helps me to turn my thoughts from what I am going through toward others like Asia Bibi in Pakistan who could hang this week for giving a cup of water to a Muslim woman. Christians are considered unclean there. It doesn’t change my circumstances, but it helps me to keep them in perspective.

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    1. Dear Linda,
      Yes, His grace always runs deeper than we’ve seen before, doesn’t it? I am so thankful that He carries us there to show us. And yes, I am so grateful that He has joined us together into the Fellowship of His Suffering. No matter the level of suffering, He brings us into a deeper compassion for those who are hurting around us and throughout the world. Oh that we would let Him stir that intercession to share in the comfort that He wants to cover us with. So many feel alone in their suffering, and need to know that they are loved and prayed for! Blessings to you tonight Dear Cousin!

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  7. Bettie, while I read your post I was reminded of one of the names of God, El Shaddai, the All-Sufficient One. He will give each of us what we need. I pray His timing for you is soon!

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    1. Thank you Jerralea for that beautiful word, speaking the name of our Lord! El Shaddai is all-sufficient for us, oh Praise Him! I am starting to feel relief from some of the pain tonight,as the Lord is here helping so much. Blessings to you!

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    1. Oh thank you so much for your sweetness and generosity to share these words. God is so gracious to bring His help to us, isn’t He? He has been lifting and bringing some relief to the pain, and I am so thankful! Blessings to you!

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  10. Dear Bettie,
    Thank you for your transparency. Your description of your journey touched me in ALL the places where I am in need of patience. I am keeping you in prayer my dear sister. What is the current status with your health?

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    1. Dear Julie,
      Thank you so much for your prayers! I am grateful that the Lord touched you here with these words, and that He has the fruit of patience to bless you with also. I am praying for you tonight also, as you are back home. Thank the Lord that the flare is beginning to calm down, and the Lord is continuing to be near to me. He’s been giving strength to these hands to be able to type, and then rest, and type some more. 🙂 Blessings and hugs to you!

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  11. Oh, dear Bettie, thank you so much for sharing so poignantly your struggles. I love how you show us that all our striving is not what God wants. He just wants us to be open to receive the grace He so freely gives. I’m so sorry you have been in so much pain, but oh how precious the lesson from the Lord! Thank you again for being so vulnerable and real and reminding us how God does provide in His timing. Blessings, love and hugs to you, dear sister! xoxo

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    1. Dear Gayl,
      Thank you so much for all of your prayers and encouragement through these hard days. He truly does want to help us and give us His grace through every struggle. I am so overwhelmed at the ways that He walks with us through each day, and longs to cover us with His dear heart right there. Blessings, love and hugs to you dear friend and sister!

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  12. Oh, dear Bettie, how hard it can be to have to learn patience through suffering. I’m so sorry you have been in such physical torment. Yet, as you have revealed through your honest testimony, it is exactly there where patience is birthed the best. In the very tests, trials and afflictions we would seek to run away from. Jesus gave His all for us, and in taking up our cross to follow Him we are called to some dark and difficult places, areas of hard surrender and being spent. But just when we think we cannot stand the pain or fiery flames a minute longer, He reveals He is right there with us! And how God’s grace is the perfect gift for our imperfect reactions and responses. We may not be loving, joyful or patient but He is! Praise God for the degree of relief, healing and recovery you have received to be able to write this beautiful, inspiring post. Blessings, love, gentle hugs and ongoing prayers. xoxo

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    1. Dear Joy,
      Your words of encouragement and understanding bring tears to my eyes tonight. I am so blessed that God let our paths cross even though an ocean lies between us. Oh yes, this is so true: “But just when we think we cannot stand the pain or fiery flames a minute longer, He reveals He is right there with us! And how God’s grace is the perfect gift for our imperfect reactions and responses.” Even as the height of the flare is calming now, the residual weakness and weariness is something that I continue to offer to the Lord. He remains here, and He does pour His patience over me still. Thank you for all of your prayers and care sweet friend. I am so glad that we can pray for each other on this journey. Love and gentle hugs to you too. xoxo

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  13. Bettie,

    This title drew me in when I saw you post about it the other day.

    I am praying for you–but I love that God spoke and you heard, though it was easy to hear at first.
    When people hurt, I want to do the child-like thing and pound my fists into the floor at times but then he quietly reigns my heart into surrender because we just don’t have the full perspective he has, do we?

    I know he doesn’t like us hurting–I know this, but I mean to say that maybe somehow we are becoming like diamonds in these processes, though they all differ.

    I am praying more of his grace-washing over you during this time.

    You are not alone and thank you for writing through these struggles!

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    1. Dear Meg,
      Oh yes! I agree with you, He is refining us like gold, and He is pressing us like diamonds, and what the enemy means for harm, He is bringing such good up from the ashes. But it is so very hard, and not the way we would want it to go, is it? I love the way that you said, “then he quietly reigns my heart into surrender because we just don’t have the full perspective he has, do we?” Oh my soul wants to let Him reign there even more, but my mind still has to catch up and be willing to see those glimpses of His perspective that He wants to bring me. Thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers this week. I think that “Glimpses of Grace” was planned by God to arrive here for me at just the right time. 🙂 Love & Hugs!

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  14. I am so, so thankful we have a God who understands like no other what we are facing. A God who doesn’t ask us to toughen up, but meets us in our weakness with His comfort, so we can comfort others with what He has given us. This is what you have gifted us here. Comfort born of deep suffering. I am SO thankful to you Bettie. This is a HUGE gift of encouragement you have given me here. I am reminded of the Hebrews verse:
    14 Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

    May I never forget that I may not be able, but He who lives in me IS.

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  15. Dear Anna,
    Oh thank you for sharing that precious Scripture today. He is so able to be that perfect High Priest that we so desperately need. It is all about His gift to “receive mercy and grace to help in our time of need.” I am so grateful for the encouragement that you have brought to me too, speaking those precious thoughts that He wants us to come just as we are. His comfort cannot be fully felt when we try to strive and bear it on our own, can it? Oh Praise You Lord for drawing and calling us into Yourself. Hugs and Love to you Dear Friend!

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  16. I love the way you spill your heart on this page. You chose the perfect antidote in Romans 8. I cannot get enough of reading how the Holy Spirit intercedes for us through wordless groans. What a gift! Knowing God is doing that for you and I when we are struggling with patience, bitterness, or brokenness is beyond my capacity for words at times. Thank you for offering such vulnerability and pointing us to the sweetness of our Lord.

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    1. Dear Mary,
      Oh, yes, what a blessing to know that God’s own Spirit is interceding for us in these hard and struggling places. I am so grateful for your encouragement and kind words, Mary. It is a risk to step out and be vulnerable with my weaknesses, but God continues to call me further with Him there. It is His strength in me that is my only help on this journey. Every day I realize it more than the day before. He truly is so sweet to us. Blessings to you!

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  17. Oh, sweet friend! I am SO sorry you are suffering so! Oh, I do hate to hear this, and how I trust Jesus to lay His healing hand upon you and give you relief! I continue to pray for you and send many hugs and much love your way.

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    1. Dear Cheryl,
      Oh thank you for your sweet prayers and encouragement! He truly is carrying me through these days. The flare calmed down, and I am just trusting Him through the weakness that remains. In everything He keeps showing me more about HIS strength that is perfected in my weakness. Only God could help us so beautifully. I am keeping you in my prayers also dear friend! Love and hugs to you!

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  18. What a beautiful truth you have unpacked here, Bettie! Thank you for encouraging others through the unfolding of your testimony. Praying that each day we’ll all draw from the well of His grace. Praying that your breakthrough medicine will soon be revealed and that you’ll be strengthened and soothed during the wait. God bless you.

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and blessings. Yes, may we draw from HIS well. He does have so much grace to offer us, just waiting so close. Blessings to you today also!

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    1. Dear Wendy,
      Oh I am so very thankful that God’s grace does keep us safe from despair and bitterness. We just don’t realize how closely they lurk sometimes. But how precious that we can indeed lean into Him and rest so securely in Him! Blessings, love, and hugs to you Dear Friend.

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