By the time I knew my Great Grandma Roth, she had lived a lifetime already. I heard all the stories from my Mom: how she felt that she was the Grandma who used to love pretty things, the Grandma who used to play the piano, until a conversion to a stricter way of life changed her. I heard about the hurtful memories of money not shared for a desperately needed surgery.
But by the time I knew her, all of those things were part of a distant past. What I remember is a Grandma who never had a harsh word to say to anyone. I can see in my mind’s eye the Grandma whose eyes would light up when we walked into the room of her nursing home, and the largest smile you could imagine would cover her wrinkly, sweet face.
And I am sorry to say that I remember the inside joking that would happen between my siblings and myself when we had to sit at the table before and after every meal for the Mennonite way of silent prayers. My mind, that was used to loud Pentecostal praying, somehow could not comprehend her old-fashion way of praying silently.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.’”
If you have been following me this past year, then you might remember some of the lessons that God walked me through,
on this journey of learning to be still. At the beginning of the year I felt a sense of being crushed, when I thought about being still. You see, I was continuing to grieve my past life, Pre-RA, of being strong, and busy, and full of movement.
But God’s convictions always come with such a sweet
intimacy when we will stop and listen.
He has had beautiful times in mind for me in the days of forced stillness.
And He has had beautiful love-notes to speak to me
only heard when I would slow and wait on Him.
And, so while I was reluctant to begin this past year of stillness, now I have found myself reluctant to move onto a different word.
Am I the only one who faces change in that way?
Do you ever find yourself in a similar situation?
But as I have heard the whispers of the Lord moving me ahead into the new #Oneword for this year, I have only begun to realize that the stillness of last year has prepared the way for the fullness of this year’s word to be possible. Unless I had allowed Him to teach me the blessing in the still place, I would not have been ready to learn now that my own self-sufficiency had gotten me nowhere during all of those “strong” years. It has always been only
that has given my life any true value.
And so, I pray that my heart
will be opened
a deeper beauty
than I’ve known before:
My Jesus is sufficient for all I need.
Is God calling you to journey forward
with Him this year?
Will you join me in prayer
for a willing heart to walk with Him?
Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank you that your shed blood
for everything we need.
Thank You that you gave
so that we could live.
May we open our hearts to receive
from You what we cannot
earn or strive on our own
May we swing wide the gates
and allow Your Spirit
to the deepest caverns
inside our souls.
You are all that we need.
In Your Sweet Name we pray,
I think that my Grandma Roth must have learned
the secret of finding Christ’s Sufficiency
as she shone with such a deep and inner
sparkle of love.
Join me back here each week this month for a series on
The Legacy of Faith that I can see when I look back. Thank you to Jaime Wiebel for her inspiration last month as she shared her own story, and then asked us to think about our own history.
And perhaps Jesus will show us more about what it means to find Him as all-sufficient as we travel together.
Are you hearing a #Oneword for this new year? I would love to hear your comments below!
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