The shore icy stones
The waves crashing breaking
And I’m plunged deeper
The infusing and the plunging have only gone deeper these past few weeks, as God is bringing home to me a depth of His loving that I have only begun to taste. Three appointments in as many weeks, with each one speaking a common theme, will tend to make one listen! (Oh, I am so slow to listen, it seems!)
The first was with an Eye Doctor who told me that I had to stop minimizing my symptoms. The second was with a Thyroid Specialist who did NOT minimize the effects of this Rheumatoid Disease on my body, and the third came as I placed those new glasses in front of my eyes.
Wonder of wonders, I could actually SEE through the new glasses.
For many years, I’ve put up with glasses from an inferior manufacturer that never allowed my eyes to focus correctly. When I asked about it, I was told that the glasses just needed to be bent to my face in a better way. Well, crooked or straight, blurry is blurry. 🙂 But the sad thing is that I accepted that diagnosis as my own deficiency, and berated myself that I could not be sufficient in yet another thing.
Until God allowed the waves and breakers to wash over my frozen heart.
HE is my sufficiency–the One who delights to love and rescue me!
Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.
By day the Lord directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life Psalm 42:7-8 NIV
As my husband and I sat in our parked car and looked out over the cold icy waters of Lake Michigan, I found myself staring at the waves that were crashing over the blocks of ice that had formed at the edges of the shoreline. We were immersed in discussion over the Thyroid Specialist’s kindness to me. So why were the crashing waves capturing my attention?
Have you ever felt yourself being washed in a mercy that felt like it was rescue and falling at the same time?
In my distress I called to the Lord,
and he answered me.
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
and you listened to my cry.
3 You hurled me into the depths,
into the very heart of the seas,
and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
swept over me.
4 I said, ‘I have been banished
from your sight;
yet I will look again
toward your holy temple.’
5 The engulfing waters threatened me,[b]
the deep surrounded me;
seaweed was wrapped around my head.
6 To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you, Lord my God,
brought my life up from the pit. Jonah 2:1-6 NIV
It is only in the falling, in the desperation, that we find ourselves crying out for His sufficiency, His compassion. And yet in that very falling is the rescue that He had planned all along.
Where I have discounted the depth of my own stories, my own difficulties, I have held myself apart from receiving His mercy: from seeing how close is the very mercy that can NEVER be cut off.
For it is here that my heart is plunged deeper into His grace and His love.
For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe. Psalm 61:3 NIV
When He plunges us, when He lets us face those waves, He is holding us and plunging in right there with us. He is that strong tower even in the midst of the waves’ heaving.
Oh my friends this is an ocean for me, a place of learning again and again that He is with me at the bottom of the sea just as much as He is with me on the quiet beaches.
Have you been facing the waves of an ocean also? Have you been trying to swim on your own?
Would you join with me in this place of falling and rescue as we cry out to HIM?
Dear Heavenly Father,
Oh, Lord, we come trembling before You here, acknowledging that we are in a place where rescue seems far off. We admit that we have tried to ignore the storm, deny the pain, and minimize the waves. But we are in over our heads. We cry out for YOU today. We need You to be our strong tower once again. Thank You for the mercy that is flowing all around us now, for YOUR eternal compassion. We lay ourselves in Your strong and mighty arms.
In the name of Your son Jesus we pray,
This quote from Not by Sight by Jon Bloom has been echoing in my heart for several weeks. May you be blessed as you read as well. It is our need of Jesus that draws Him to call us even still today:
Jesus did not call us because of our righteousness or gifting. He called us when we were dead in our sins (Eph. 2:1) and blinded by the god of this world (2 Cor. 4:4). He called us when all we had was need. And now that we are his disciples, all we redeemed sinners still really have is our need of him. He is the Vine and we are branches; apart from him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). He supplies us with the Spirit (Gal. 3:5) so that we serve only in the strength and grace that he supplies (1 Pet. 4:11).
Bloom, Jon. Not by Sight: A Fresh Look at Old Stories of Walking by Faith . Crossway. Kindle Edition.
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