Pondering and Wondering
I ponder over my prayers
How many do I truly
Surrender?
How many do I secretly
Clutch?
I wonder over Your mercies
How often do Your ways
Astound?
How often do I gaze
Unaware?
Help me to PONDER
And look inside
To be willing to walk with YOU
Thru the pain.
And then ...
Help me to WONDER
And look up at YOU
To be joyously seeing
Your awesome ways
--bg
The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy.
It was another early morning test; there seemed to have been so many lately. As the tech placed the whirring machine above my chest, he quickly stepped out of the room. The radioactive iodine tracers would soon be flowing through my system, landing squarely in the middle of my thyroid. He switched on the machine to automatically move the bed I was lying on into proper position under the donut shaped camera mount. Suddenly the edges of the bed that my shoulders were resting on slipped away so the bed could fit into position.
Oh no! How would I be able to hold my hands still and in place? The Rheumatoid damage to my shoulder joints and tendons had caused a deep weakness to my ability to hold myself in position
Lord, help me! I began to shake as the struggle to hold my arms in place became stronger.
I felt a presence walk into the room from above my head. I saw white fluttering over my chest. I opened my eyes, expecting to see the tech coming back in the room. But no one was there.
No one, except the angels holding my arms in place for the remainder of those images, and for the next group of images as well. His presence had carried me through yet another procedure.
I left that test elated. I expected it would mean good results. However, the tests were inconclusive. The Doctors were surprised. The other tests agreed with their assumptions, but this lone test called for a biopsy to be taken under sedation through my windpipe.
Why would that test, the one where I had felt His presence so strongly, be the one to return as inconclusive? I pondered the working of my Lord. His ways are surely not like mine , and His ways sometimes lead us through the fire and the storms.
But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.
I thought about Mary, and how she pondered all those early days with Jesus, and stored them as treasures in her heart. How could a word given to her that spoke of the coming sword piercing her heart be a treasure to hold onto?
33 “The child’s father and mother marveled at what was said about him. 34 Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: ‘This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35 so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.’”
The ways of God are a wonder to me.
He turns my thoughts upside down as He transforms my stubborn ways into places where only His grace remains. He sees the suffering so differently than we do, because He sees the end from the beginning.
I get stuck in the here and now.
So here lies the reason for my double words this year for my #oneword2026. Somehow this wondering and this pondering are meant to go together. It’s only as I ponder the depth of the suffering that Jesus bore for me, that I am able to begin to grasp the wonder of His awesome love for me.
So this will be a year where both ponder and wonder work together in ways that I am sure will surprise me. Inconclusive is how I feel right now tho, just like that test. And yet the suffering of my sore and bloody throat, after the biopsy that was required, could not compare to the peace I felt as He reassured me that His ways are best.
The biopsy was benign. Praise the Lord for His wonders in my life! And praise Him for the pondering as I wait for the Doctor to evaluate whether this thyroid that has grown down into my chest requires removal or not. The Lord will call forth songs of joy from both the morning and the evening.
Thank you to all who have been praying for me these past months. I cannot express the gratitude that fills my heart, knowing that prayers are rising on my behalf.
I would love to lift up prayers with you today, my friends. May we lift our eyes to see His wonders all around.
Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank You for showing us Your awesome wonders! And I thank You for the precious wonder of so many who have prayed for me on this journey. Will You bless them today with open eyes to see Your wonders around them also? Help us to ponder Your mercy given for us, to acknowledge the suffering that You ask us to be willing to join, and to praise You for the gifts of Your grace showered upon us. We worship You, our one true King.
In Your name we pray, amen.
BettieGsRAseasons 