Pondering and Wondering
I ponder over my prayers
How many do I truly
Surrender?
How many do I secretly
Clutch?
I wonder over Your mercies
How often do Your ways
Astound?
How often do I gaze
Unaware?
Help me to PONDER
And look inside
To be willing to walk with YOU
Thru the pain.
And then ...
Help me to WONDER
And look up at YOU
To be joyously seeing
Your awesome ways
--bg
The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, you call forth songs of joy.
It had been an early start to this test, with the radioactive tracer being placed early, and a return to the imaging center later that afternoon. As the tech placed the whirring machine above my chest, he quickly stepped out of the room. The radioactive iodine tracers would soon be flowing through my system, landing squarely in the middle of my thyroid. He switched on the machine to automatically move the bed I was lying on into proper position under the donut shaped camera mount. Suddenly the edges of the bed that my shoulders were resting on slipped away so the bed could fit into position.
Oh no! How would I be able to hold my hands still and in place? The Rheumatoid damage to my shoulder joints and tendons had caused a deep weakness to my ability to hold myself in position
Lord, help me! I began to shake as the struggle to hold my arms in place became stronger.
I felt a presence walk into the room from above my head. I saw white fluttering over my chest. I opened my eyes, expecting to see the tech coming back in the room. But no one was there.
No one, except the angels holding my arms in place for the remainder of those images, and for the next group of images as well. His presence had carried me through yet another procedure.
I left that test elated. I expected it would mean good results. However, the tests were inconclusive. The Doctors were surprised. The other tests agreed with their assumptions, but this lone test called for a biopsy to be taken under sedation through my windpipe.
Why would that test, the one where I had felt His presence so strongly, be the one to return as inconclusive? I pondered the working of my Lord. His ways are surely not like mine , and His ways sometimes lead us through the fire and the storms.
But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.
I thought about Mary, and how she pondered all those early days with Jesus, and stored them as treasures in her heart. How could a word given to her that spoke of the coming sword piercing her heart be a treasure to hold onto?
33 “The child’s father and mother marveled at what was said about him. 34 Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: ‘This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35 so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.’”
The ways of God are a wonder to me.
He turns my thoughts upside down as He transforms my stubborn ways into places where only His grace remains. He sees the suffering so differently than we do, because He sees the end from the beginning.
I get stuck in the here and now.
So here lies the reason for my double words this year for my #oneword2026. Somehow this wondering and this pondering are meant to go together. It’s only as I ponder the depth of the suffering that Jesus bore for me, that I am able to begin to grasp the wonder of His awesome love for me.
So this will be a year where both ponder and wonder work together in ways that I am sure will surprise me. Inconclusive is how I feel right now tho, just like that test. And yet the suffering of my sore and bloody throat, after the biopsy that was required, could not compare to the peace I felt as He reassured me that His ways are best.
The biopsy was benign. Praise the Lord for His wonders in my life! And praise Him for the pondering as I wait for the Doctor to evaluate whether this thyroid that has grown down into my chest requires removal or not. The Lord will call forth songs of joy from both the morning and the evening.
Thank you to all who have been praying for me these past months. I cannot express the gratitude that fills my heart, knowing that prayers are rising on my behalf.
I would love to lift up prayers with you today, my friends. May we lift our eyes to see His wonders all around.
Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank You for showing us Your awesome wonders! And I thank You for the precious wonder of so many who have prayed for me on this journey. Will You bless them today with open eyes to see Your wonders around them also? Help us to ponder Your mercy given for us, to acknowledge the suffering that You ask us to be willing to join, and to praise You for the gifts of Your grace showered upon us. We worship You, our one true King.
In Your name we pray, amen.
I am linking with #RememberMeMonday #TrafficJamReboot
BettieGsRAseasons 
Dear Bettie, oh what suffering you have endured, and oh what mercy and grace you continue to receive, praise God! Your thoughtful words make me ponder with you. I particularly appreciate these lines:
”He turns my thoughts upside down as He transforms my stubborn ways into places where only His grace remains. He sees the suffering so differently than we do, because He sees the end from the beginning.
I get stuck in the here and now. “
So relatable. Thank you for your lovely prayer here. Sending love hugs, and prayers for greater healing to come. x ❤️
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Thank you dear Joy. It helps me so much to know that you understand, and that the Lord is working in both of our hearts through these trials we go through. I am so grateful that He has allowed us to share words given from his heart to ours. I don’t take the sharing for granted. I know it’s such a gift. Blessings and love to you my dear friend ❤️
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I love how God comes to us with comfort in places only He can come. I experienced similar going into surgery last fall after my husband has passed away.
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Yes, He is so good to meet us in the middle of the trial! I’m grateful that you understand my dear friend. Sending you hugs and love across the miles.
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Bettie, you are such a great encouragement to me. I’m so sorry you experienced pain and suffering. You are in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your journey and giving others opportunities to pray. God bless you dear friend.
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Dear Melissa, I’m so grateful the Lord allows us to encourage each other! Your words bring such blessings to me also. I appreciate your prayers more than I can express. May the Lord bless you today my dear friend. ❤️🙏
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Praise God that your biopsy had a good outcome Bettie! And how wonderful that God answered your prayer for help during the testing with an Angel supporting you! God indeed is gracious & His mercies are never ending. Prayers for wisdom for your medical team for the next step in your treatment.
Blessings sweet friend, Jennifer
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Thank you dear Wendy for your precious encouragement and prayers. Yes, isn’t our God so gracious to meet us right where we need Him most? I pray blessings over you dear friend! ❤️
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Oh Bettie, what pondering and treasuring I have already seen in you through all the years. You have taught me so much about humility, waiting upon God and being willing to have your own understanding turned upside down. It has been such a powerful encouragement to me to redeem the time by doing the same. And oh the wonder and awe to then look back and see what we could not at the time, when we simply trusted His heart, and leaped though we didn’t get it. You are so much more like Mary than you realize – and so that overshadowing in God’s presence by His angels doesn’t surprise me. You believed that He would reward you for seeking Him in the hard. And He did– for He was pleased with your faith. And so, I know whatever unfolds next, whether it needs removing or not. He will reward your faith again. Love you! And God be praised for His gift to me through you.
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Oh dear Anna, thank you for your encouragement today. 😭 It was so much what I needed right now. Surely our Lord will guide us and care for us wherever the journey leads. After all, it is His journey for us! I am so grateful for the years that the Lord has given us to share along these pathways. It boggles my mind when I pause to think of it, all the ways that He has shown us more of Himself. I pray blessings over you now, and all of the new places He is leading you. I am so thankful to see His light shining in your life! Love and hugs tonight across the great sea.
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Truly meaningful, Bettie. I’m so sorry for all you are enduring and also your husband. I’m also thrilled for the incredible experience God gave you with His angels!!!
Sending love with prayer ~
Melody ~
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Dear Melody, I so appreciate all of your prayers. Your support has been so precious to me. And, yes, I am also so grateful for the miracle of His presence with me! Blessings and hugs to you dear friend!
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I am so thankful for how the Lord held you up during this trying test, dear friend. And so grateful the result was benign! What a blessed word! Praying for you today and sending love and hugs your way!
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Dear Cheryl, thank you so very much for all your prayers and support through these many tests. God has been so faithful this far, and I know He will remain faithful for every step ahead. May I trust Him more. Blessings to you dear sister! ❤️
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