Wonder: Pondering the Invisible Made Visible

I held the tattered Bible gently in my weakened hands. It felt so beautiful as it brought back memories of my leafing through its pages as a young teenager. After all, it was the Bible that my Dad & I had gifted to my mom in 1972 when I was 12. She used it all through her middle years until she was gifted with a newer Bible in her later years. I had kept this one safely tucked away in my bookshelves for the past 17 years since she had passed away. And I had continued to use my own Bible that felt comfortable and well-worn to me.

That all changed with my diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis in 2014, and fibromyalgia in 2016. What had been a joy to pick up and read, suddenly became almost impossible to hold. Digital Bible websites soon became my way of connecting with God’s Word, as physical books were just too heavy.

However, that weakness wasn’t visible to most anyone looking on. I moved a little more slowly, and lifestyle changes had to be enacted. But those changes were personal, seen mostly by close loved ones. In fact I shared a post with a dear friend soon after I started blogging, in which I had called these diseases a part of the “Invisible Illnesses.”

Click here to go to my friend Mandy Farmer’s site to see a re-posting of that article I had written 8 years ago. In fact, that letter stirred my heart this week with questions about a disease that had shifted from being invisible to certainly very visible now.

When some close friends asked how I was doing at the same time the post was shared, I felt prompted to send them photos of my hands, since they had not seen me in over a year.

They all were shocked. How could it have gotten this bad?

I share with so many dear ones my prayer requests. I ask for prayers during high pain days. I try to speak of my immobile joints. And I treasure every note of love and support!

When my grandchildren tell me that they are praying for me, there is no more precious gift they can give. When my children text and ask how I am doing, and it just happens to be a high pain day, the tears of thankfulness are always close to spilling over.

And yet, why I had been so reluctant to share photos of my damaged hands? I do not ever want to slip back into my old ways of masking. I so long to be like the Apostle Paul, who said

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

-2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

Oh, how I still need help from my Lord to be able to BOAST in my weaknesses that HE would receive all the glory! I am not quite there yet, to boast in my weaknesses.

And yet, truthfully, leaning on Christ’s sufficiency is the way I live now. I have come to experience and to know that I cannot make it through even a moment of my days without His sustaining grace.

And so as I share these photos of my weakened hands, I look at the markings in my Mother’s Bible. She wrote in the flyleaf that she wanted it to be passed down to me, that I might see the markings and know of God’s faithfulness.

And I pause to ponder:

• Are the markings on my hands a way for me to show of His faithfulness?
• Are the visible weaknesses a place where HIS markings of glory might show through?
• Is there a beauty to be found in the tattered and the aged, that is akin to the beauty I see in my Mom’s old Bible?

My heart is filled with wonder that He loves me so much that He prompts loved ones to check in on me in the midst of my weaknesses.

My heart is filled with the wonder of a Saviour who would urge me to open an old, tattered Bible, and hold in my hands the beauty of a life filled with God’s transforming Word.

Have you begun that same process of your invisible scars and weaknesses becoming visible? I would love to pray with you today my dear friend:

Dear Lord Jesus,

Thank You for Your love that You have showered upon us, even before we knew or understood Your love at all! Thank You for preparing the way ahead for us, years before we could see the path You would lead us on.

So Lord we offer our tattered and weakened selves to You now. We know that we cannot journey these paths on our own any longer. And whether we are just discovering that now, or have walked with You for many years, we know that we still need Your help. Will You show us the wonder of leaning on Your sufficient grace, day by day by day? And then will You help us to boast in those same weaknesses as we see the beauty of Your great power being shown in our days? We long to live for Your glory alone, dear Saviour! You are so worthy of our every praise and every breath. You truly are the wonder of our lives.

In Your name we pray,

Amen.

What a joy to hear this song from my childhood being sung across the great wide ocean. May you be blessed as I have been: