I held the tattered Bible gently in my weakened hands. It felt so beautiful as it brought back memories of my leafing through its pages as a young teenager. After all, it was the Bible that my Dad & I had gifted to my mom in 1972 when I was 12. She used it all through her middle years until she was gifted with a newer Bible in her later years. I had kept this one safely tucked away in my bookshelves for the past 17 years since she had passed away. And I had continued to use my own Bible that felt comfortable and well-worn to me.
That all changed with my diagnosis of Rheumatoid Arthritis in 2014, and fibromyalgia in 2016. What had been a joy to pick up and read, suddenly became almost impossible to hold. Digital Bible websites soon became my way of connecting with God’s Word, as physical books were just too heavy.
However, that weakness wasn’t visible to most anyone looking on. I moved a little more slowly, and lifestyle changes had to be enacted. But those changes were personal, seen mostly by close loved ones. In fact I shared a post with a dear friend soon after I started blogging, in which I had called these diseases a part of the “Invisible Illnesses.”
Click here to go to my friend Mandy Farmer’s site to see a re-posting of that article I had written 8 years ago. In fact, that letter stirred my heart this week with questions about a disease that had shifted from being invisible to certainly very visible now.
When some close friends asked how I was doing at the same time the post was shared, I felt prompted to send them photos of my hands, since they had not seen me in over a year.
They all were shocked. How could it have gotten this bad?
I share with so many dear ones my prayer requests. I ask for prayers during high pain days. I try to speak of my immobile joints. And I treasure every note of love and support!
When my grandchildren tell me that they are praying for me, there is no more precious gift they can give. When my children text and ask how I am doing, and it just happens to be a high pain day, the tears of thankfulness are always close to spilling over.
And yet, why I had been so reluctant to share photos of my damaged hands? I do not ever want to slip back into my old ways of masking. I so long to be like the Apostle Paul, who said
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
Oh, how I still need help from my Lord to be able to BOAST in my weaknesses that HE would receive all the glory! I am not quite there yet, to boast in my weaknesses.
And yet, truthfully, leaning on Christ’s sufficiency is the way I live now. I have come to experience and to know that I cannot make it through even a moment of my days without His sustaining grace.
And so as I share these photos of my weakened hands, I look at the markings in my Mother’s Bible. She wrote in the flyleaf that she wanted it to be passed down to me, that I might see the markings and know of God’s faithfulness.
And I pause to ponder:
- Are the markings on my hands a way for me to show of His faithfulness?
- Are the visible weaknesses a place where HIS markings of glory might show through?
- Is there a beauty to be found in the tattered and the aged, that is akin to the beauty I see in my Mom’s old Bible?
My heart is filled with wonder that He loves me so much that He prompts loved ones to check in on me in the midst of my weaknesses.
My heart is filled with the wonder of a Saviour who would urge me to open an old, tattered Bible, and hold in my hands the beauty of a life filled with God’s transforming Word.
Have you begun that same process of your invisible scars and weaknesses becoming visible? I would love to pray with you today my dear friend:
Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank You for Your love that You have showered upon us, even before we knew or understood Your love at all! Thank You for preparing the way ahead for us, years before we could see the path You would lead us on.
So Lord we offer our tattered and weakened selves to You now. We know that we cannot journey these paths on our own any longer. And whether we are just discovering that now, or have walked with You for many years, we know that we still need Your help. Will You show us the wonder of leaning on Your sufficient grace, day by day by day? And then will You help us to boast in those same weaknesses as we see the beauty of Your great power being shown in our days? We long to live for Your glory alone, dear Saviour! You are so worthy of our every praise and every breath. You truly are the wonder of our lives.
In Your name we pray,
Amen.
What a joy to hear this song from my childhood being sung across the great wide ocean. May you be blessed as I have been:
BettieGsRAseasons 
Thank you so much for your powerful testimony Bettie. You have made me pause and reflect on the many blessings of Father God, even amidst my own health issues. God is still Good! I love the new rendition of the George Beverly Shea hymn. May our Father God continue to guide and bless you each day sister 🙏
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Amen, our God is so good to us. Isn’t that a lovely version of that hymn? My Dad loved George Beverly Shea too! I can still hear him singing it. I’m so thankful that the Lord brought you a blessing to pause with Him here today. You have blessed me knowing that dear brother. May He be your every strength as you walk through your health issues too.
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Oh Bettie you are brave!! Thank you – I too am transitioning from invisible to visible and it’s hard. Thank you for your encouraging words! 💜
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Thank you for your encouraging words, dear Angie. It was a vulnerable feeling to post those pictures, but I am so thankful He helped me obey. It is hard moving into that place of visibility. Oh what a gift to be able to support each other in that very place. Blessings to you dear friend.
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Our grandchildren pray for me, too. Their sweet and heartfelt prayers mean so much to me. They asked why God hasn’t answered their prayers and made my pain go away. I told them that God is answering their prayers, in His way and in His timing. 🙂 I pray for you dear friend. You are a bright light and a wonderful inspiration. Have a blessed week! 🙂
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Dear Melissa, what a precious gift you are bringing to your grandchildren, passing along the true meaning of faith. They really do watch us so closely. 🥹Oh Lord keep us faithfully looking up to You!
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. You have blessed me so much tonight. I pray blessings over you now, and a touch from His sufficient grace.❤️
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This is beautiful, Bettie. And you are so beautiful. Your choice to make the invisible visible makes me think of Jesus inviting Thomas to touch His wounds. His still visible wounds that are ironically our healing. And I see that same healing balm flowing in the comments above and I am feeling it myself also. And I pray you also get to experience a healing and soothing balm yourself.
Sending love and hugs.
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Dear Anna, thank you so much for bringing up Thomas. You know the special meaning he has in our lives, from the dramas we shared about him. That moment in the drama when he touched our Lord’s wounds is so vivid and solid in my mind. And that is the comfort and balm Jesus is bringing me now. 😭He is so very good to us, letting us join in the fellowship of His suffering, and in the power of His resurrection. His grace truly is sufficient! Blessings to you my dear friend. ❤️
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Sending much love & prayer to you Bettie.
I agree with your following statement as I feel the same;
“… truthfully, leaning on Christ’s sufficiency is the way I live now. I have come to experience and to know that I cannot make it through even a moment of my days without His sustaining grace.”
Blessing to you sweet sister, Jennifer 💕
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Dear Jennifer, Oh I know you understand and live from that same place of sufficiency in Him. I witness it in all of your beautiful sharing. You are such a blessing to me, sharing His grace together! May He bless you richly today dear friend. ❤️
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Thank you sweet friend 💕
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I pray you are answering YES to your pondering questions. And your mom’s bible is such a treasure to see here! Thank you for sharing what shows a “beauty of a life filled with God’s transforming Word.” And your words here also do the same….
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Thank you dear friend. I pray that I am letting the Lord bring that Yes! ever stronger in my heart. And I am so blessed that my Mom saved this Bible with care after she got her new one. It truly is a treasure. Blessings to you this week! ❤️
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I so appreciate your authenticity and vulnerability, Bettie. I think your hands are beautiful; they’ve been many places and served many people well. That’s a true gift to the world. I try to be gentle about judging my body (but I’m my own worst critic); my body has really given me so many wonderful opportunities to love and be loved in this world and I want to be more grateful instead of harsh when I see how my body is aging.
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Dear Lisa, thank you so much for your kind words!! You have blessed me so much tonight, lifting my eyes to see from a different perspective. I appreciate your wisdom and grace. May I allow the Lord to help me age with that grace from above, dear sister! Blessings to you!
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Dear Bettie,
I have meant to write to you right after reading your beautiful post, but I’d gotten overwhelmed with other things and wanted to write when my head was quieter. Your words touched me deeply, personally for my own edification and also saddened for a more realistic view about what you struggle with. Some of what rose up in my heart was how tender Jesus’ heart must be for you and what glory awaits you for enduring such heartache and pain while still clinging to our LORD and sharing His faithful goodness. What a sweet spirit you have and devoted love for Jesus and others.
May Christ comfort you with divine comfort and encouragement beyond what you know to ask for. And, may His Presence be even more deeply felt just when you need to deeply know He is near.
I wish I could express far better all I’ve felt and thought with your post, but hopefully I’ve at least given a glimpse of how you’ve encouraged me and model faithfulness in hardship.
With my love,
Melody ~
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Dear Melody, yes your words have expressed such comfort and beauty that they brought tears to my eyes. But do you know, you are so right? Jesus really is so tender with me, meeting me in the deepest pain and carrying me when my strength is gone. I don’t know how to express it either. I think that’s the gift of His supernatural love in us–beyond the words we know. And oh what glory awaits us, when His words, our Living Word, will be made so full in us! Blessings to you dear friend!
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