Into these days of multiplied fear, and into my own days of multiplied pausing, I heard God whispering to my fearful heart to learn more about a proper fear:
The Fear of God ~~~ The Holiness of God
He provided redemption for his people; he ordained his covenant forever—holy and awesome is his name. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.Psalm 111:9-10 NIV
Most of my readers will remember that I’ve been on a blogging break these past few weeks as I have begun new and intense treatments. But what no one could have foreseen was that not only would I have severe side effects once again, but I would also display severe allergic reactions, and be forced to make an emergency room visit because of those reactions. God has been so gracious to preserve and protect me during these times.
But with over 30 medication “failures” under my belt now, the questions continue to haunt me, “What is the purpose? Why has God kept asking me to keep going forward? When does too much become TOO MUCH?”
Instead of giving me an answer, my Lord directed me to remember an old post and poetry that He had gifted to me almost exactly 3 years ago, in June 2017. While I may not know the answers, I can see the Lord here in this ground with me. A ground named HOLY, and a ground named FEARSOME, because the Lord of All has given me His presence.
Here is the poetry, spoken so many months ago, yet so very current for these days that so many of us find ourselves in, right here:
here in this sand
echo the halls
i follow the
mete out my
lose my clenching
find what was
seek what is
life laid down
LORD of the moment he holds me beneath where ground shifts
i watch him plant seeds in my feet standing ground sand shifting
and life is here blooming watered from well springing up
“’Do not come any closer,’ God said. ‘Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.’“Exodus 3:5
The writing prompt for this post “God in the ground beneath me,” was given by Jamie Wright Bagley, with a secondary prompt to experiment with the “no caps no punctuation” style of poetry that ee cummings made famous:
and my heart started pounding
when i heard a whisper
calling my ground
What if the very place where the trial looks hardest,
where the ground seems most burnt
is actually the place most holy
in the eyes of the ONE who is changing
You might recognize that first photo above as the one I posted here after the DNR had come through our favorite prairie park with a prescribed burn. The second photo shows the prairie transformed, when we visited just several weeks later. It’s hard to imagine the way that fire birthed life into the worn-out prairie lands.
These burnt-out shifting sand places of our lives
become HIS fertile land
when we let Him have the final say.
But in those days when I stop short, try to shorten the
process, or worse yet,
go off in my corner to pout,
I only hinder His planting,
quench off His Spirit,
and stunt my own growth.
Can I offer a prayer with you today?
“Dear Lord of the Harvest,
What an Amazing LORD you are! Will you open our eyes to see YOU in the shifting sands of our days? Will you help us to loosen our hold and come out of the corners, to find YOU at work in the fertile soil, the sandy loam of hearts set free, to be transformed into YOUR HOLY GROUND.”
In Jesus’ name we pray,
Thank you all for so many kind, encouraging words and prayers over these past few weeks. While I have had to stop the RA infusions, I am still on a reducing regimen for Prednisone, feeling the withdrawal side effects of that. I am currently scheduled for the High-Frequency-Radio-Wave-Ablation for the Occipital Neuralgia on July 13. I hope to be back to give you another update after that procedure. Until then, please know that I hold you all in my prayers. You are all such precious gifts to me from the hand of our Loving and Holy Father.