Day 12: Waiting as I Listen

I stood at the doorway with my other Fifth Grade friends, palms sweaty with excitement, arms eagerly clutching the shiny new case I had been given.  Summer Band, and the chance to play an instrument had me wound up in a ball of nerves.  When would the Director open the door?  We listened to our teeth chatter as we tried to imagine how difficult this new instrument would prove to be.  I came home from that first day so excited that I practiced the three notes I had learned for hours!  Bless my dear mother, who never said a word, but just let me play (read screech and squawk)  my new clarinet to my heart’s content.

I stood at another doorway, decades later, palms sweaty with dread this time. The bank had issued a note of foreclosure on our only family car.  How had we landed in this spot? We had obeyed God and changed our family’s direction, expecting blue skies for the journey He promised, but nothing had gone as we planned.  God sent the money that time, miraculously, through the gift of a friend, but our season of learning to trust God thru the hard continued for many a month after that threshold was crossed. 

 The doorways that
are chosen
by God
lead us to 
places new 
and unknown.
We find ourselves looking
and listening
But are we ready to
when the doorway 
feels dark and forbidding?
 I find myself at another doorway today.  One I would rather not be standing next to: yet another Doctor, for yet another consultation. It feels to me like the doors are being thrust upon me, against my will, and for no good purpose or reason.  One more health issue, one more hospital bill to explain to my insurance.
And yet, if God is the Captain of my Journey, then He has something to say about this place of my landing. The doorways are not beyond HIS vision for me. And there must be a WORD that He has for me here:

Isn’t it all too easy to become focused on the room beyond?
Do our eyes strain to see what lies in the dim recesses?
What if we strained to see God’s movement instead?
And what if we trained our ears to listen for His voice at the

There have been so many doorways over the course of this 56 year life I’ve been given.  I venture to say that you have faced a few yourself.  On those times when I have made a conscious choice to slow and wait and watch for God’s movement, the doorway has taken on a different appeal for me.  Oh, but it’s those times when I think I know what the doorway means–those are the times that once over the threshold, I want to turn back and make a hasty exit.
If I have learned anything on this journey, it’s that I have learned SO LITTLE, and have so MUCH MORE yet to learn.
The Scripture says that I am 
when I choose to listen for His voice at the doorway, 
when I choose to see the doorway
as belonging to Him.   

Is it possible that HE will transform this doorway,
even today,
if I choose to watch for Him there?
What about you? Are you faced with a doorway leading to an unknown room?
What if God could transform your doorway as you watch for Him there?

This is Day 12 for the #Write31Days Challenge,
I am so blessed by your travels with me as together we 
seek after #31Days of Listening with Chronic Illness.

Click here for the Series Index 

11 thoughts on “Day 12: Waiting as I Listen

  1. Thank you so much for this encouragement, Bettie, to wait and listen for God's voice at the doorway. It's so hard to imagine every doorway to the unknown is in His plan, especially when they can be so dark and menacing. If I remember right, your biopsy is today. May God hold your hand as you walk through this doorway. You have been heavy on my heart as I beg God to let it be benign. It's so hard sometimes to say “Thy Will Be Done” in times like this. May He hold you closely and carry you through no matter what! Hugs!


  2. I appreciate your 31 day series of living with chronic illness. I don't know the pains of RA, but I live with multiple sclerosis, and I know that I allow doubts and uncertainty to creep in and stay a little too long sometimes. My 31 day series is “sowing seeds and sewing scraps” and I am very glad to have stumbled across your write 31 day challenge.


  3. Oh, Trudy, thank you for your prayers and word of Hope today! Yes, I meet with the Surgeon for a consultation today, not knowing if he will actually do the biopsy today, or if more waiting is required. So I treasure your words, here, and will remember that “God holds my hand as I walk through this doorway.” Hugs & Blessings to you!


  4. Hi Katie Joy,
    I'm so glad you stopped by here today! And your series sounds so intriguing–I have been a sewer for years, just slowed down greatly over this last season. I will definitely hop over to your blog later! I am so sorry for the trials that you have had to endure with MS. I will keep you in my prayers, and ask the Lord to bring encouragement to you when those doubts begin to creep in. I am so glad that we are not alone on this journey, and God is so quick to answer us! –Blessings to you!


  5. Hi Bettie,
    I've got to get caught up on some of your posts but this one on waiting speaks volumes to me! My thoughts and prayers are with you as await more medical news and I'm praying God holds you so close to his heart!

    I loved the story of you playing the clarinet and how faith was your anchor early on. It shows by the joy you exhibit despite difficult circumstances, and you're right that waiting is the true test of our faith. There is so much to learn there! You inspire me every time I'm here! xoxo


  6. Bettie, you've given me much pause for thought with this reflection. My initial response is to want to stand beside you, accompany you as you walk through yet another doorway of uncertainty, hold your hand and have a cup of tea together. And I am doing some of that in prayer, hoping for the best outcome from this latest round of tests. Your faith shines so radiantly, hope exudes from every word you share with such openness and honesty.
    Waiting is a painful thing to do. Yet all of us live an in-between life: suspended twixt this world and the next, while anticipating pleasurable events and hoping for hard things to go away or for weakness, illness and stress to lessen.
    Whatever you face, please know you are not alone. We are all here for you, though I wish I could actually be physically present with you too. God and a whole heavenly host are by your side, ready to support, encourage and reassure you as necessary.
    I smiled in recognition at these words: “If I have learned anything on this journey, it's that I have learned SO LITTLE, and have so MUCH MORE yet to learn.” Oh how true it is! No matter our age or experience, we are on!y made wise after the event, and on!y then if we are willing to learn from it. You are in my thoughts and prayers as always. Blessings and love to you, dear friend. Xox


  7. Hi Valerie,
    Thank you for your thoughts and prayers, I truly appreciate them! Yes, I often wonder why the waiting is so much a part of God's working, but it is true that the testing and the learning happen there in the waiting! Glad you enjoyed the clarinet story! –Blessings and Hugs!


  8. Thank you Joy, for the comfort that you bring with your caring words and support! Wouldn't it be so grand to share a cup of tea together on these gray fall days? I'm so glad that this world is not our final home, and we have Heaven to look forward to, where the distance will be a thing of the past, and the waiting will be made complete and full! I am trusting in God's help, as I truly do feel the prayers of so many. The Doctor visit today ended up being a consultation, to prepare for the upcoming Biopsy, for which they will give me a date within the next couple days. I am blessed with such a nice Surgeon. God's Grace-Gifts do come in so many forms, don't they? Watching for the JOY, my friend, as I am waiting at this doorway! Blessings and love to you! xoxo


  9. Trudy, thanks so much for those thoughts of holding Jesus' hand at the Doorway today, they were such a comfort to me! The appointment ended up being a consultation to prepare for the Biopsy. They will call with the date for that within a couple days. Thx and HUGS!!


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